“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

76 shares on Threads this month:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

54 shares on Discord this month:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”