“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

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You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

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Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

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Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

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Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

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A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

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I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

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The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

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The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

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Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.