257 Funny advice quotes

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, slow and steady wins the race in the game of love. Who knows, being friends first might just lead you to a treasure trove of potential hotties! 😉🔥 #FriendshipGoals #DatingTips"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs fancy bedding when you've got a mattress for that extra *weight* in your life? 💸😴 #BudgetSleepingHacks"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

  Commentary:
  "When your inner drunk advisor gives you advice, you know it's time to pour another drink 🥃🤔 #CheersToQuestionableWisdom"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Never trust a wet fart.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, folks: Never trust a wet fart 💨🙅‍♂️ Just like lukewarm coffee and week-old pizza, some things are best left untested 😂 #LessonLearned"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

  Commentary:
  "Whenever I walk into a room, the urge to use birth control suddenly skyrockets! 🚫👶😆"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Never eat more than you can lift.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, the secret to a successful diet is to always make sure your eyes aren't bigger than your thighs! So, never eat more than you can lift, unless you're training for the heavy lifting competition at the next buffet!"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: I need money, not feelings.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs to be showered with affection when you can be showered with dollar bills? Money talks, feelings whisper… quietly in the corner."

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  4 months ago

  Share →: A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, it's best to splurge a little – after all, you don't want to end up with a face like a discount knockoff or a stomach ache that's 'fishy' at best!"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Don’t hate me, date me!

  Commentary:
  "Who needs haters when you can have daters? Turn those frowns upside down and swipe right to a happily ever after with this clever mantra – Don't hate me, date me!"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal search for the elusive 'right person' – a quest as mysterious and unpredictable as finding matching socks in the laundry. Keep looking, dear friend, for in the vast sea of potentials, there may just be a diamond in the rough…or at least someone who can tolerate your questionable taste in movies."

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