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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,263

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Making waves on Instagram:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Going viral on Twitch:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Seen just now on Slack:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Going bananas on Threads:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Trending via Pinterest:

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Shared recently on Messenger:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Funny alike quotes

Funny alike quotes bring out the hilarious side of similarity and shared moments 🤣✨ Whether you and your bestie finish each other’s sentences or your pet mimics your every move, these witty lines capture the joy of being alike in the quirkiest ways 😂🐒 Get ready to laugh and relate as you dive into the world of humor that proves great minds really do think alike! 🎉🙌

New funny alike quotes 👇

All funny alike quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Twitch this month:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

20 shares on Threads this month:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

90 shares on Slack this month:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

82 shares on X this month:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

61 shares on WeChat this month:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

68 shares on Discord this month:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,665

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Going viral on Telegram:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Going bananas on Threads:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Going bananas on Discord:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Just shared via WeChat:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Live now on WhatsApp:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Trending via Slack:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Live now on YouTube:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

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