Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

Shared recently on WeChat:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

Making waves on Discord:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Trending via Threads:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Funny anonymity quotes

Funny anonymity quotes bring a hilarious twist to the idea of staying incognito 😎🕵️‍♂️ Whether you’re hiding behind a screen or just love the mystery, these witty lines will make you chuckle while celebrating the art of being unknown 🤫😂 Perfect for those moments when staying anonymous is the best kind of spotlight! 🌟✨

New funny anonymity quotes 👇

All funny anonymity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Twitch this month:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

31 shares on X this month:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Talking to the stars because people suck.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,356

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Just landed via WeChat:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Shared recently on Slack:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Trending via Reddit:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

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