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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Just landed via Facebook:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Trending via X:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Trending via WeChat:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Spotted on Threads:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Shared recently on Telegram:

How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

17 Funny appliance quotes

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New funny appliance quotes 👇

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All funny appliance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

74 shares on Slack this month:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

40 shares on X this month:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait for the “international law” crowd to discover that “human rights” aren’t real, either.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Freshly posted on X:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Spotted on Telegram:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Live now on Messenger:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Freshly posted on X:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

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