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In that universe, my alarm clock is probably just a motivational playlist! 😴⏰💪
79 Funny bedtime quotes
They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.
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A tuck-in service? Finally, my stuffed animals might get some competition! 🧸😴✨
I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.
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When you wake up smelling like a spa and your pillow's living its best life 🍬💤✨
An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.
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When counting sheep just doesn't cut it, try counting orgasms instead! 🌜😴🔥
They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.
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Who knew I'd be partying like it's 1999… by going to bed at 9:00! 🎉🛌😴
I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.
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Once upon a time, bedtime was a penalty box; now it's the holy grail of adulthood 🛌🔍😂
Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.
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Couch naps are just the sneak preview before the main sleep feature 🍿😴 #NappetizerSpecial
I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.
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When dinner and bedtime start exchanging "Save the Date" cards 🤣🥱🍽️🛌
Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.
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Showering and diving into bed: the ultimate power couple of relaxation! 🚿💤❤️