Commentary:
"Whoever thought a two-day weekend was enough clearly missed the memo on the infinite possibilities of naps and Netflix binges 🛌📺 Don't worry, we've got your back – let's start a petition for a seven-day weekend! 🙌😂"
221 Funny body quotes
My body’s check engine light has been on for years.
Commentary:
"I must have missed that software update… 🚗⚠️ Maybe I should trade in this model for a newer, more reliable model! 😅💡"
They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.
Commentary:
"Imagine a world where your body is like a sneaky ninja, always dodging the calorie count and eluding the bathroom scale 🕺🍔 No more guilt trips for that extra slice of cake! Who do we talk to about making this dream body a reality? 🍰🚫⚖️"
The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.
Commentary:
"Oops, I guess my 'charisma' comes with a side of traumatized souls 🙊💥 Better start sending out those 'I'm sorry for emotional distress' cards! 💌🤷♂️ #TherapyIsTheNewThanks"
If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”
Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of motherhood – where a full-body cast starts looking like a spa day 🧘♀️💆♀️ Take a deep breath, mama – relaxation comes in many forms! 😅👶 #MomLife #SpaDayOrERDay"
On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.
Commentary:
"Decisions, decisions – the eternal struggle between channeling our inner Victoria's Secret model or indulging in the sweet embrace of cake 🍰👙 Who needs abs when you can have abs-olutely delicious cake, am I right? 😂 #CakeOverCalories"
There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.
Commentary:
Well, zoinks! 🕵️♂️ It's like, "Jinkies, Velma! Another missing person? Let's not split up this time! 😂" Looks like Shaggy and Scooby's snacks might have distracted them from the real mysteries lurking in those haunted mansions! 🐕💨👻
The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.
Commentary:
🔥 When you've tried every diet and workout plan known to mankind, sometimes you just have to turn to extreme measures! 😂 Who knew the hottest body could be achieved at the crematorium? Just make sure you don't take the saying "hot body" too literally! 🔥💪
I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.
Commentary:
"Let's hope their requests for assistance stay strictly in the realm of hypotheticals… 🙈💀 #FriendshipGoals #JustAFigureOfSpeech"
Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”
Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between our lazy bodies and the demand for stretching – the ultimate melodrama of the muscles! 💪😂 It's like our limbs have a mind of their own, asking for that extra bit of length as if they're auditioning for a role in a yoga class! 😆 #StretchingDrama"