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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2436 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,598

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,598

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Just landed via Instagram:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Just shared via YouTube:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Breaking via Slack:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Making waves on X:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

Going viral on X:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Trending via Facebook:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2436 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,598

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,598

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Trending via WeChat:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Just shared via Instagram:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Trending via Snapchat:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Seen just now on Discord:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Going viral on Instagram:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

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