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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I’m saving myself for my vibrator.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,684

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Just shared via Messenger:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Going viral on Discord:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

Going viral on Instagram:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Trending via Reddit:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Making waves on Threads:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Seen just now on Reddit:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Funny caller quotes

New funny caller quotes 👇

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

2 weeks ago

answer, answering, believe, bravery, caller, caller ID, calling, communication, daredevil, hard, hello, i, ID, idea, just, nostalgia, phone, picked, surprise, used

All funny caller quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Threads this month:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

43 shares on Discord this month:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Making waves on Discord:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Just landed via Threads:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Live now on TikTok:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Going viral on Instagram:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Freshly posted on Discord:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Going viral on Threads:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Just landed via Threads:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny caller quotes

New funny caller quotes 👇

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

All funny caller quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨