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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Just landed via Messenger:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Live now on Reddit:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Just landed via WeChat:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Just shared via Reddit:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Shared recently on X:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Funny caller quotes

New funny caller quotes 👇

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

1 month ago

answer, answering, believe, bravery, caller, caller ID, calling, communication, daredevil, hard, hello, i, ID, idea, just, nostalgia, phone, picked, surprise, used

All funny caller quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A little friendly reminder that if somebody looks tired, you really don’t have to tell them.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

36 shares on Slack this month:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

If every lesbian is into older women, who’s gonna like the younger ones?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Just landed via WeChat:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Just landed via X:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Making waves on Reddit:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

Shared recently on Messenger:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Spotted on TikTok:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Breaking via Pinterest:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Making waves on Telegram:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny caller quotes

New funny caller quotes 👇

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

All funny caller quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨