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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Just shared via X:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Just shared via Discord:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Just shared via Threads:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Shared recently on Instagram:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

Going viral on Threads:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Just shared via Facebook:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Making waves on X:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Funny caller quotes

New funny caller quotes 👇

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

0

2 months ago

answer, answering, believe, bravery, caller, caller ID, calling, communication, daredevil, hard, hello, i, ID, idea, just, nostalgia, phone, picked, surprise, used

Someone from 🇦🇺 has recently copied this quote.

112 shares on WeChat this month.

All funny caller quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

77 shares on Discord this month:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Live now on Facebook:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Breaking via Messenger:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Is this art or trash?

Shared recently on Discord:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Trending via Snapchat:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Going viral on Reddit:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Making waves on Reddit:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Making waves on Reddit:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny caller quotes

New funny caller quotes 👇

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

All funny caller quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨