Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Yesterday, my boss asked me what I did for a living.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I need money, not feelings.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,644

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Live now on Snapchat:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Going viral on WeChat:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Making waves on Telegram:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

Going viral on Messenger:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Funny canary quotes

Funny canary quotes 🐤 bring a burst of joy and laughter to any day! Whether you’re a bird lover or just need a quirky pick-me-up, these lighthearted sayings capture the cheeky charm and sweet silliness of our feathered friends. Get ready to chirp with delight and share a smile — because who knew canaries could be this hilarious? 🎉🐦✨

New funny canary quotes 👇

All funny canary quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Telegram this month:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

51 shares on Threads this month:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

67 shares on X this month:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

77 shares on Discord this month:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Work for a living? In this economy?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,607

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Freshly posted on X:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Just landed via Twitch:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Just landed via Telegram:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Shared recently on WeChat:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Trending via Pinterest:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴