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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Spotted on TikTok:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Just landed via Facebook:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Live now on LinkedIn:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Making waves on X:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Breaking via X:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Trending via Instagram:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Going viral on Threads:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Just landed via X:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Making waves on Instagram:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Going viral on TikTok:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

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