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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,573

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Going viral on Threads:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Making waves on Threads:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

Seen just now on Threads:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Trending via Threads:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Spotted on Instagram:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Spotted on Instagram:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Funny Christian quotes

Funny Christian quotes bring a joyful twist to faith, combining wisdom with a hearty dose of laughter 😂🙏. Whether you need a smile during Sunday service or a lighthearted reminder of God’s grace, these gems brighten your day and uplift your spirit 🌟📖. Get ready to chuckle and reflect with humor that’s both clever and heartfelt—because faith and fun go hand in hand! 😇✨

New funny Christian quotes 👇

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

4 weeks ago

black, brown, Christian, commentary, diversity, equality, gay, humor, identity, man, old, politics, same, satire, social, social commentary, straight, survival, taste, white, woman, yellow, young, zombie
My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

1 month ago

bagel, Christian, Dior, diversity, humor, identity, Jewish, mayor, Muslim, religion
Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

1 month ago

Christian, community, Holyfans, humor, joke, media, religion, social, social media, wordplay
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

1 month ago

analogy, belief, car, Christian, church, garage, going, humor, identity

All funny Christian quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

81 shares on Discord this month:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

59 shares on WeChat this month:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

19 shares on Discord this month:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,342

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Breaking via Threads:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Going bananas on Threads:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Going bananas on WeChat:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Staring at your phone is a great way to miss a few years of your life.

Just landed via YouTube:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

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