Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,628

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Breaking via Facebook:

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

Trending via TikTok:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

Breaking via Instagram:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Going viral on Reddit:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Spotted on Threads:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Funny Christian quotes

Funny Christian quotes bring a joyful twist to faith, combining wisdom with a hearty dose of laughter 😂🙏. Whether you need a smile during Sunday service or a lighthearted reminder of God’s grace, these gems brighten your day and uplift your spirit 🌟📖. Get ready to chuckle and reflect with humor that’s both clever and heartfelt—because faith and fun go hand in hand! 😇✨

New funny Christian quotes 👇

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

4 weeks ago

black, brown, Christian, commentary, diversity, equality, gay, humor, identity, man, old, politics, same, satire, social, social commentary, straight, survival, taste, white, woman, yellow, young, zombie
My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

1 month ago

bagel, Christian, Dior, diversity, humor, identity, Jewish, mayor, Muslim, religion
Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

1 month ago

Christian, community, Holyfans, humor, joke, media, religion, social, social media, wordplay
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

1 month ago

analogy, belief, car, Christian, church, garage, going, humor, identity

All funny Christian quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Instagram this month:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Please hesitate to reach out.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

26 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

27 shares on Threads this month:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,765

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Live now on Messenger:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Shared recently on Slack:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Just landed via Reddit:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Spotted on WeChat:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Spotted on Reddit:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Going bananas on X:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴