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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Making waves on Threads:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Making waves on Reddit:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Live now on Instagram:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Seen just now on Discord:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Breaking via Twitch:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Live now on Reddit:

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Blink if you want me!

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Spotted on Telegram:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Just shared via Snapchat:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Going viral on Telegram:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Just shared via Telegram:

Blink if you want me!

Making waves on Discord:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Trending via Slack:

Meow means woof in cat.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

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