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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

828 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,990

Funny Quotes Topics

13,934

Funny Quotes Images

10,990

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Live now on Discord:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Making waves on Facebook:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Making waves on Snapchat:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Trending via YouTube:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Trending via Slack:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

828 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,990

Funny Quotes Topics

13,934

Funny Quotes Images

10,990

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Reported on X:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Going viral on Reddit:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Just landed via Facebook:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Spotted on Messenger:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Going viral on Slack:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

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