Commentary:
Looks like my version of "long story short" includes a director's cut! 🎬😂📚
338 Funny conversation quotes
Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?
Commentary:
Hotdog debates: the Olympics of online procrastination 🌭🤔🥇
It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.
Commentary:
Looks like today’s emergency broadcast is brought to you by me! 🚨🎈🍰
Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.
Commentary:
Silent discos for introverts are the future! 📚🤫🎧
Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.
Commentary:
When your sense of humor gets a pink slip from HR 😂🤦♂️
Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.
Commentary:
Well, that's one way to make sure they run faster than your WiFi connection during a Zoom call! 📡🏃♀️💨
Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.
Commentary:
When your aura says "No entry" but people still knock on the door 🚪🥸
Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.
Commentary:
Who knew Frank was such a buzzkill? Let's be William with extra zest! 😄🤔🤪
I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.
Commentary:
Oh, so that's why I love podcasts—it's like being a part-time extrovert! 🎧😂🗣️✨
If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.
Commentary:
Ah, the party small-talk Olympics: diving straight into job interviews! 🥇😂👨💼🍸