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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Live now on WhatsApp:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Trending via Instagram:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Live now on Facebook:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Just landed via Threads:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Spotted on TikTok:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Spotted on Instagram:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Making waves on Reddit:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Funny decor quotes

Funny decor quotes bring a splash of humor and personality to any space 🎉🖼️ Whether you’re looking to brighten up your living room or add a quirky touch to your office, these witty sayings are sure to make guests smile 😂✨ Get ready to transform your walls with laughter and good vibes—because home decor should be as fun as you are! 🏠💬🛋️

New funny decor quotes 👇

All funny decor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on YouTube this month:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

30 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

23 shares on Slack this month:

I am cassette tape years old.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

39 shares on Messenger this month:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,761

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Spotted on Snapchat:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Making waves on Instagram:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Going bananas on Discord:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Going viral on Threads:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Just shared via Slack:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Trending via Reddit:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Trending via Snapchat:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Making waves on Messenger:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

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