Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,613

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Trending via X:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Making waves on Messenger:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Spotted on Messenger:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Spotted on YouTube:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Making waves on TikTok:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Just shared via TikTok:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Funny dj quotes

Funny DJ quotes are the perfect beat drop for your day 🎧✨ Whether you’re spinning tracks or just love the vibes, these witty lines will have you laughing louder than the bass 🎶😂 Get ready to mix humor with music and share some LOLs that hit harder than your favorite remix! 🎤🔥

New funny dj quotes 👇

All funny dj quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Slack this month:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,634

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Happy new fear!

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

Going viral on YouTube:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Making waves on TikTok:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Trending via Telegram:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

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