Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,549

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Breaking via X:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Going viral on X:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Just landed via Instagram:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Trending via X:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Funny draining quotes

Funny draining quotes bring a hilarious twist to those moments when life feels like a never-ending energy zap ⚡️😴. Whether you’re battling Monday blues or just wiped out from adulting, these witty lines will make you laugh instead of cry 😂💡. Ready to recharge your mood with some cheeky humor? Let’s dive into the funniest way to cope with feeling totally drained! 🔋🤣

New funny draining quotes 👇

All funny draining quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

41 shares on TikTok this month:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,531

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Breaking via Slack:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Shared recently on X:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Spotted on YouTube:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Going viral on Twitch:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

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