Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,367

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Shared recently on Discord:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Going viral on Messenger:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Just shared via Telegram:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Going viral on YouTube:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Trending via Slack:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Funny draining quotes

Funny draining quotes bring a hilarious twist to those moments when life feels like a never-ending energy zap ⚡️😴. Whether you’re battling Monday blues or just wiped out from adulting, these witty lines will make you laugh instead of cry 😂💡. Ready to recharge your mood with some cheeky humor? Let’s dive into the funniest way to cope with feeling totally drained! 🔋🤣

New funny draining quotes 👇

All funny draining quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

48 shares on Threads this month:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

57 shares on Slack this month:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,713

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

(flirting) You’ll be the death of me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

Live now on Instagram:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Just shared via Messenger:

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

Trending via Reddit:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Making waves on Discord:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Spotted on Reddit:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Seen just now on Facebook:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

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