Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Trending via TikTok:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Going viral on WeChat:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Just landed via Threads:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Live now on WeChat:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Just landed via Telegram:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Funny forty quotes

Funny forty quotes are the perfect way to celebrate turning the big 4-0 with a smile 😄🎉 Whether you’re embracing midlife madness or just love a good laugh at the age milestone, these witty sayings will keep the vibes light and hilarious 🤣🎂 Get ready to chuckle, share, and maybe even relate—because forty has never been this funny! 🎈✨

New funny forty quotes 👇

All funny forty quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

76 shares on X this month:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

15 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

86 shares on Discord this month:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

Meow means woof in cat.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,370

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Trending via X:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Spotted on Threads:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Making waves on Twitch:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Going viral on X:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴