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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I had too much to think last night.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,628

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Spotted on YouTube:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Breaking via WeChat:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Just landed via TikTok:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Just shared via Telegram:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Funny gift card quotes

Funny gift card quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor 🎉 and personality 🎭 to a simple present. Whether you’re aiming to crack a smile 😄 or spark a giggle 🤭, these witty one-liners make every gift card unforgettable. Ready to turn a small gesture into a big laugh? Let’s dive into the world of clever, cheeky, and downright hilarious sayings! 🎁😂

New funny gift card quotes 👇

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

3 weeks ago

brother, card, Christmas, exchange, gift, gift card, gift exchange, give, holiday, holiday humor, humor, i, me, special, time
A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

2 months ago

card, credit, credit card, every, finance, gift, gift card, humor, kind, money, shopping, spending, store
My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

3 months ago

card, frustration, gift, gift card, give, humor, left, limits, metaphor, much, patience, sure, try, uncertainty

All funny gift card quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Facebook this month:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

76 shares on Instagram this month:

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

69 shares on Threads this month:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

11 shares on Slack this month:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,683

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Making waves on Messenger:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Going viral on Messenger:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Trending via X:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Just landed via Slack:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Making waves on X:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Going viral on Slack:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Spotted on WeChat:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

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