Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Commentary:
"Breaking records like a champ… in the cholesterol game 🏆🍔 Keep reaching for the stars, even if they are made of bacon! 🌟🥓"

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Commentary:
🎉💪 Looks like the only game you're winning right now is the one against gravity! Keep up the great work, high score champion! 🏆🎮 #ScaleBoss #FitnessGoals

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Commentary:
"Who knew that mastering the art of relaxation and zen could be so competitive? Watch out, this blood pressure machine might just challenge you to a rematch!"