Commentary:
Sounds like you're the family's limited edition collectible: rare, valuable, and a little bit mischievous! 🐑⭐️😎
129 Funny identity quotes
Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.
Commentary:
Trying to stay low-key on Twitter like a ninja in a library 📚🤫 #AvoidTheSpotlight
Do British people still do the accent when nobody’s around?
Commentary:
Wondering if Brits switch to 'silent mode' when alone 🤔🎤✨
Nobody in the entire world has ever known what to do with me.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're a puzzle without the box lid for instructions! 🤔🧩
I’ve been a main character since birth.
Commentary:
Sounds like the camera crew has been following you around for a while! 🎬😂🌟
I keep saying, “It is what it is,” but what even is it?
Commentary:
Trying to solve the existential mystery of "it" like a detective who lost their magnifying glass 🔍🤔😂
I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.
Commentary:
Heat me up and let's hope I don't explode like last time! 🔥😅🍽️
I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.
Commentary:
I'm adulting on a whole new planet! 🚀👩🚀🎈
At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.
Commentary:
When you realize the soundtrack to your life is a solo! 🎶🤦♂️🤷♀️ #SelfDuet
Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.
Commentary:
Life's just a weird movie I didn't audition for 🎬😅#PlotTwist