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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2057 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,219

Funny Quotes Topics

14,968

Funny Quotes Images

12,219

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Trending via Slack:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Just shared via WeChat:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Going viral on Pinterest:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Spotted on Twitch:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Reported on TikTok:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2057 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,219

Funny Quotes Topics

14,968

Funny Quotes Images

12,219

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I am cassette tape years old.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Just shared via Threads:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Just landed via Slack:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

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