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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has downloaded:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has shared:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has copied:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has copied:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has viewed:

β€œHope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,394

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Breaking via Telegram:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Just landed via Instagram:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Going viral on Slack:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Going bananas on Messenger:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Freshly posted on X:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Funny job loss quotes

Funny job loss quotes bring a splash of humor to a tough situation πŸ˜‚βœ¨ Losing a job can feel like a setback, but a little laughter πŸ’ΌπŸ’₯ helps lighten the mood and remind us that every ending sparks a new beginning 🌟 Ready to chuckle through the chaos and find the silver lining? Let’s dive into some witty, hilarious takes on job loss that’ll turn those frowns upside down! πŸ˜„πŸŽ‰

New funny job loss quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny job loss quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

15 shares on Discord this month:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

50 shares on Slack this month:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

16 shares on Slack this month:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,641

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has copied:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has bookmarked:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called β€œWhat Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has downloaded:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has copied:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has copied:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡© has copied:

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¦ has copied:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡« has downloaded:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Just landed via Telegram:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Seen just now on Slack:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Live now on Pinterest:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Live now on Snapchat:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

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