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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1891 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,053

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,053

3 minutes ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Breaking via Facebook:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Spotted on WeChat:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Reported on Facebook:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Seen just now on Threads:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Home » Funny Job Loss Quotes

Funny job loss quotes

Funny job loss quotes bring a splash of humor to a tough situation 😂✨ Losing a job can feel like a setback, but a little laughter 💼💥 helps lighten the mood and remind us that every ending sparks a new beginning 🌟 Ready to chuckle through the chaos and find the silver lining? Let’s dive into some witty, hilarious takes on job loss that’ll turn those frowns upside down! 😄🎉

New funny job loss quotes 👇

3 days ago
Share →: Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Commentary:
Sounds like you really took "cleanliness is next to godliness" to the next level! 😇🪟✨
6 months ago
Share →: I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Commentary:
Looks like someone's passion for space was out of this world, but their lunch radar was a bit off! 🚀🥪 Next time, remember: fueling your stomach is just as important as fueling rockets! Keep shooting for the stars, and maybe pack a snack for the journey. 😉
6 months ago
Share →: I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Commentary:
Seems like this employee was just thinking ahead to accommodate all preferences, even in the afterlife! 😂🔥⚰️ Who knew that in the funeral business, it's all about the final smoking vs. non-smoking section! #RestInPeaceOrInAshes

For even more funny job loss quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny job loss quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1891 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,053

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,053

3 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Making waves on Messenger:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Going viral on Twitch:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Just landed via Slack:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Just shared via Facebook:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Shared recently on Instagram:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

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