Commentary:
"Life's like a crazy rollercoaster ride with no seat belts, and we're just here for the unexpected twists and turns 🎢🤷♂️ Who needs to be in control when you can just go with the flow, right?"
1649 Funny just quotes
According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.
Commentary:
"Looks like the bacon-to-person ratio is a little skewed here 🥓👩👩👩👩 Who knew bacon could multiply you like that? Time to invite some friends over for a crispy and delicious bacon feast! 🥓🎉👯♂️"
The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.
Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.
Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect way to keep that social distance intact! 😂🧹🚗 Keep those neighbors at bay with the power of cleanliness – next up, lawn mowing the living room! 🌿🛋️ Just remember, a well-vacuumed driveway is the key to a peaceful, neighborly existence. You might just start a new trend in unconventional cleaning techniques! 💡
Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.
My wallet is empty, just like my soul.
Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?
I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.
Commentary:
"Being a fruitarian sounds peachy 🍑, but baby spinach deserves to grow up and fulfill its veggie dreams! 🌱😂 Lettuce have some compassion for the leafy greens! 🥬 #VeggieDrama"
I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.
