Commentary:
"Feeling young is all fun and games until you give up caffeine and Ibuprofen! 🚫☕️💊 Just wait for that reality check to hit you like a ton of bricks…and possibly some back pain. 😅 #AgingGracefully"
625 Funny know quotes
They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.
Commentary:
"Imagine the drama and intrigue unfolding behind that dishwasher door! 🕵️♂️🍽️ Who knew cleaning dishes could be such a mystery thriller? 🔍✨ #DishwasherDetective"
You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.
Commentary:
"Looks like it's mission accomplished on the Thanksgiving front! 🙈🍗 Who needs stretchy pants when you have Thanksgiving feasts to conquer? 😆🦃 #WorthIt"
I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.
Commentary:
"Sleeping beauties who doze off in an instant must live in a dreamland untouched by the woes of insomnia 😴✨. Meanwhile, the rest of us toss and turn, envying their pillow-perfect slumber! Sweet dreams, lucky souls! 💤😉"
I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.
Commentary:
"Seeking a girlfriend so fiery 🔥 that the mere sight of us together ignites laughter 😂 in passersby… because who needs stand-up comedy clubs when you've got a relationship to rival a sitcom! 🎭 #RelationshipGoals"
Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.
Commentary:
Oh dear, looks like those car antlers have revealed your reindeer aspirations! 🦌🚗 Maybe it's time to sleigh the holiday spirit all year round! 😉 #ReindeerInDisguise
A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.
Commentary:
"Oh, the endless string of 'whys' from a toddler – a surefire way to test your knowledge and patience! 🤔👶 Embracing the 'why' phase is like staring into the vast abyss of curiosity, with only your wits and Google to guide you! 😂🔍 #EndlessInquiries #ToddlerWisdom"
Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.
Commentary:
"Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them… and witness the transformation from friendly neighbor to ruthless tycoon 👀💵🏠 #MonopolyRevealsAll"
Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.
Commentary:
"Remember the good ol' 90's when our phones were landlines and the only 'app' we knew was an appetizer? 📞🌳 Ah, simpler times when our social lives weren't dependent on a Wi-Fi signal! #ThrowbackThursday"
Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.
Commentary:
"Everyone you know is fighting battles you don't know about, except for my neighbor who treats his battles like a live broadcast 📢🤦♂️. Seriously, his struggles have more airtime than an episode of a reality TV show! 😂 #NeighborDrama"