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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,486

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Just shared via Facebook:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Going viral on YouTube:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Trending via Threads:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Spotted on Telegram:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Making waves on Twitch:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Funny leaving early quotes

Funny leaving early quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor when it’s time to make a stylish exit 🎉🚪 Whether you’re ducking out of work, a party, or a meeting, these witty lines keep things light and cheeky 😄✨ Ready to leave with a smile and a laugh? Let’s dive into some hilarious ways to say goodbye before the clock strikes “too late” ⏰😂

New funny leaving early quotes 👇

All funny leaving early quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

60 shares on Instagram this month:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

54 shares on Threads this month:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, turn off the planet.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

That fight could’ve been an email.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,617

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Just landed via Reddit:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Just landed via Facebook:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Live now on Threads:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Spotted on Reddit:

I was dropped as an adult.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Trending via X:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Making waves on YouTube:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

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