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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Just landed via X:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Reported on YouTube:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Making waves on Instagram:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Shared recently on X:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Seen just now on Facebook:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Spotted on Threads:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Just shared via Twitch:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Just landed via Twitch:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Going viral on Snapchat:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Making waves on TikTok:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

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