Commentary:
That’s still less dangerous than my cooking! 🍳😅
2117 Funny me quotes
It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.
Commentary:
WhatsApp and I are in a toxic relationship—breaking up would be ideal, but we just keep texting 😂📱💔
Nobody in the entire world has ever known what to do with me.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're a puzzle without the box lid for instructions! 🤔🧩
Why do I have to take care of this idiot (me) every single day? Can’t she do anything on her own?
Commentary:
Sounds like a full-time job with no benefits! 😂🤦♀️ #OverworkedAndUnderpaid
I always stop the microwave before it beeps because it’s not the boss of me.
Commentary:
Microwave rebellion: 1, Beep overlord: 0 😂🍿
Study international relations and political science if you watch the news and think, I’d like this to make me even more depressed.
Commentary:
When you want your daily dose of news to come with a side order of existential dread 📚😅🌍
Are you gonna meow for me or what, bro?
Commentary:
When your cat takes his role as roommate a bit too seriously 😂🐱🏠
Showing my barber a Rorschach test, and he gives me his mother’s haircut.
Commentary:
Well, at least now I know what a psychological profile looks like in the form of a hairstyle! 💇♂️🔍😂
They’re calling me the unemployee of the month.
Commentary:
Looks like your “work” from home strategy is really paying off! 😆🏆📅
It was all revealed to me in a delusion.
Commentary:
Sounds like my morning routine! 😂☕✨