Commentary:
Proof that even my consciousness has buyer's remorse 😂🧠💭
2117 Funny me quotes
I hate texting. Just hunt me like an animal.
Commentary:
Why text when you can just unleash your inner tracker instead? 🐾🎯🐻
The only love triangle I’m interested in is between me, my book, and my cozy blanket.
Commentary:
When your relationship goals are paperback deep and blanket warm 📚💘🛋️
My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.
Commentary:
Guess I owe her a "Tech for Tying" class 😂👟📱
The inner child in me is open-mouth coughing on the inner child in you.
Commentary:
Sounds like our inner children need a lesson on cover-your-mouth-before-I-tell-your-inner-parents! 🙈😂🤧
If I was a stray cat, I’d follow you home and let you domesticate me.
Commentary:
Be honest, you’d have me microchipped and spoiled with treats in no time 😸🛋️
Being depressed is so embarrassing. It’s like, look at me, guys. I have nothing positive to say, and I make everything miserable.
Commentary:
Putting the "fun" in dysfunction! 😅🙃 #MasterOfPessimism
Babe, you have to believe me. I followed that porn star because I like her political views.
Commentary:
Well, I guess political debates just got a whole lot spicier! 🍿🤨
I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.
Commentary:
When I look in the mirror, I'm convinced it's secretly winking back at me 😎🪞✨
My favorite date activity is ice skating because I’m really good at it, and it allows me to assert dominance on the ice.
Commentary:
Gliding into first place in the Olympics of love! ❄️⛸️😂