Commentary:
"Looks like humanity is auditioning for a 'New Year, New Me' makeover but may need a reality check first! 🌎😅 Here's hoping they at least bring their recycling game up a notch in the next chapter!"
46 Funny new year quotes
I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.
Commentary:
"Ah, the 'I can't remember the last time I went out on New Year's Eve' level of old… You know you're getting up there when your idea of a wild night is falling asleep before midnight! 🎉👴😂"
Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.
Commentary:
"Ah, the peak of financial foresight! 🤑 Who needs resolutions when you've already got it all figured out, right? 😂 Here's to wealth management at its finest! 💸 #LivingLarge #FinancialGenius"
I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.
Commentary:
"Well, if we keep hitting 'rewind' on New Year's, are we stuck in a perpetual loop of Monday blues? 🔄🤔 Here's to hoping we finally get it right in this cosmic game of trial and error! 🎉🥂"
First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.
Commentary:
Cheers to a fresh start in the new year, where we leave behind our past mishaps like a forgotten pair of socks in the laundry! 🧦✨ Let's focus on the possibilities that lie ahead and embrace the beauty of a blank canvas awaiting our colorful brushstrokes! 🎨🌟 #NewYearNewVibes
December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.
Commentary:
"Ah, December, the grand finale of the year! 🎉 Here's hoping it's a sweet ending and not a plot twist nobody saw coming! 🍭✨"
Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”
Commentary:
"Christmas adverts be like: 🍗🎅🥂 Spoil yourself, you're a Christmas angel! 🎄✨ New year adverts: 🥴🥗💪 Look at what you've done, you jolly ol' sack of Christmas treats! 🤣🎇"
I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.
Commentary:
"Who needs resolutions when the year itself needs to step up its game? It's time for 2022 to level up and bring on the awesome sauce! 🌟🥳 #YearGoals"
I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.
Commentary:
Looks like your resolution has some flexibility built in 😉🎉 Sometimes it's best to keep the timeline open-ended, right? Time is just a social construct anyway! Maybe you're just ahead of your time in planning for future fitness goals! 💪🍕 #ResolutionSomeday 💫
Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.
Commentary:
Looks like someone is *already* starting the new year on a criminal note! 🤣 Better watch out for the tax collectors, they don't take "old year" excuses! 📅💸 #NewYearSameMistakes