Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,707

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Just landed via Telegram:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Trending via Pinterest:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Just shared via YouTube:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Seen just now on X:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

46 Funny new year quotes

More funny new year quotes 👇

For even more funny new year quotes, hit next 👇

All funny new year quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

56 shares on Threads this month:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

54 shares on Discord this month:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

85 shares on Discord this month:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

59 shares on Discord this month:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

52 shares on X this month:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

90 shares on Threads this month:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,682

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

It’s so cold, I’m using Chrome instead of Firefox to read the news on my phone, because I need the ads to warm up my phone and hands.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Going viral on Twitch:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Shared recently on Threads:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Trending via YouTube:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Just landed via Telegram:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴