Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,255

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Just landed via Twitch:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Spotted on TikTok:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Trending via X:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Trending via Messenger:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Making waves on Messenger:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

Going viral on Facebook:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Funny New York City quotes

Funny New York City quotes 😂 capture the city’s wild energy, quirky characters, and unforgettable moments in just a few words! From taxi chaos 🚕 to pizza cravings 🍕, these witty lines bring NYC’s charm and hustle to life. Whether you’re a local or just dreaming of the Big Apple 🍎, get ready to laugh and see the city through a hilariously honest lens. Ready to giggle? Let’s dive in! 🎉

New funny New York City quotes 👇

All funny New York City quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Threads this month:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

91 shares on X this month:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

40 shares on X this month:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

20 shares on X this month:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Have to wear real clothes on Monday. Pray for me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,278

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Going viral on Slack:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Live now on WeChat:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Just shared via Telegram:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Live now on YouTube:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Just shared via Telegram:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

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