Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,673

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Making waves on Slack:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

Making waves on Discord:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Trending via X:

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

Going viral on Telegram:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Funny online purchase quotes

New funny online purchase quotes 👇

All funny online purchase quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

53 shares on X this month:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

74 shares on Threads this month:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,372

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Making waves on WeChat:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Just shared via Messenger:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴