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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

18 minutes ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Going viral on WeChat:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Just shared via Discord:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Making waves on Telegram:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Going viral on Slack:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Just landed via X:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Home » Funny Online Purchase Quotes

Funny online purchase quotes

New funny online purchase quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Commentary:
📰🛍️ "Breaking News: Local woman baffles wallets and dazzles delivery men with yet another mind-boggling unnecessary online purchase! 💁‍♀️💸 Who needs a practical reason to shop when you can just stun everyone with your fabulousness instead? Stay tuned for more updates on this fashionable and financially fearless phenomenon!"

For even more funny online purchase quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny online purchase quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

18 minutes ago

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Just landed via X:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Live now on Pinterest:

Is this art or trash?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Breaking via Reddit:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Just shared via Facebook:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Breaking via Messenger:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Trending via Slack:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Just shared via Discord:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

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