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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

40 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Breaking via Instagram:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Just shared via X:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Reported on LinkedIn:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Spotted on Slack:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Just landed via Reddit:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Home » Funny Phone Time Quotes

Funny phone time quotes

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All funny phone time quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

40 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I used to have this mental illness where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Just shared via Threads:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Just landed via Discord:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Spotted on Threads:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Trending via Twitch:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Freshly posted on X:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

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