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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Just shared via YouTube:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Just landed via WeChat:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Live now on Facebook:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Spotted on WeChat:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Just shared via X:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Trending via LinkedIn:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Just landed via Slack:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Going viral on YouTube:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

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Funny pig quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Going viral on TikTok:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Seen just now on Discord:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Trending via Reddit:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Just landed via Facebook:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Going viral on Messenger:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

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