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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,375

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Making waves on Facebook:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Live now on Slack:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Making waves on Messenger:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Trending via Threads:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Spotted on Telegram:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Funny players quotes

Funny players quotes bring a whole new level of laughter to the game 🎮😂 Whether you’re a casual gamer or a pro, these hilarious lines capture the quirky, unpredictable moments that make playing so entertaining 🤪🔥 Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even ROFL as we dive into the funniest gems from the world of players everywhere! 🎉🎉

New funny players quotes 👇

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

7 hours ago

ball, enough, fight, football, humor, just, literally, making, over, player, players, reason, saw, sideline, sport
Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

2 months ago

activity, baseball, baseball cap, baseball player, both, cap, challenge, dating, funny activity, hard, headwear, humor, kissing, player, players, sports, while
My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

2 months ago

animal, animal comparison, comparison, favorite, football, hamsters, humor, players, sport, sport humor, water

All funny players quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

13 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

23 shares on Slack this month:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

75 shares on Slack this month:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Just shared via Twitch:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

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