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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,327

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Taking Adderall to use the calculator app.

Spotted on Reddit:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Seen just now on Slack:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Broadcasted on X:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Spotted on YouTube:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

Funny praying quotes

Funny praying quotes bring a lighthearted twist to moments of reflection 🙏😂 Whether you’re seeking a chuckle during tough times or just love a clever play on faith, these witty lines blend humor and hope perfectly! Ready to smile while lifting your spirits? Let’s dive into some playful prayers that prove even the holiest moments can have a funny side 😇🎉

New funny praying quotes 👇

All funny praying quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Slack this month:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

70 shares on X this month:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

73 shares on Instagram this month:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

15 shares on X this month:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I un-know people?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,342

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Going viral on Instagram:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Just shared via Telegram:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Spotted on Discord:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Spotted on WeChat:

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

Spotted on Messenger:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Seen just now on Slack:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Spotted on Slack:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

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