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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,621

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Trending via Messenger:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Just shared via YouTube:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Making waves on TikTok:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Just shared via X:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Going bananas on TikTok:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Funny quitting job quotes

Funny quitting job quotes bring a hilarious twist to saying goodbye to the 9-to-5 grind 🎉💼 Whether you’re done with endless meetings or just chasing new adventures, these witty lines capture that sweet mix of relief and excitement 😄✌️ Ready to laugh your way out the door? Let’s dive into some epic one-liners that turn quitting into a comedy show! 😂🚪✨

New funny quitting job quotes 👇

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

0

2 months ago

advice, ask, career, going, humor, job, just, me, quit, quitting, quitting job, sarcasm, tell, work, work advice, workplace
Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

0

2 months ago

activity, around, balance, celebration, Christmas, Christmas tree, fun, fun activity, holiday, holiday spirit, job, quitting, quitting job, rock, rocking, spirit, tree, work life, work-life balance
My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

0

5 months ago

frustration, humor, job, job frustration, morning, morning routine, motivation, myself, quitting, quitting job, routine, self, self-talk, talk, talking, work, work humor
I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

0

5 months ago

beach, career, career change, change, humor, job, quitting, quitting job, reading, tarot, tarot reading, topless

All funny quitting job quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Cool times create cool guys.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Being weird never goes out of style.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,281

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Spotted on Threads:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Just landed via Instagram:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Just landed via TikTok:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Breaking via WeChat:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

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