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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,649

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Trending via Discord:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Making waves on Threads:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Trending via WeChat:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Trending via Reddit:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Funny quitting job quotes

Funny quitting job quotes bring a hilarious twist to saying goodbye to the 9-to-5 grind 🎉💼 Whether you’re done with endless meetings or just chasing new adventures, these witty lines capture that sweet mix of relief and excitement 😄✌️ Ready to laugh your way out the door? Let’s dive into some epic one-liners that turn quitting into a comedy show! 😂🚪✨

New funny quitting job quotes 👇

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

0

2 months ago

advice, ask, career, going, humor, job, just, me, quit, quitting, quitting job, sarcasm, tell, work, work advice, workplace
Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

0

2 months ago

activity, around, balance, celebration, Christmas, Christmas tree, fun, fun activity, holiday, holiday spirit, job, quitting, quitting job, rock, rocking, spirit, tree, work life, work-life balance
My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

0

5 months ago

frustration, humor, job, job frustration, morning, morning routine, motivation, myself, quitting, quitting job, routine, self, self-talk, talk, talking, work, work humor
I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

0

5 months ago

beach, career, career change, change, humor, job, quitting, quitting job, reading, tarot, tarot reading, topless

All funny quitting job quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Threads this month:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

81 shares on Discord this month:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

85 shares on Discord this month:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

34 shares on X this month:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

60 shares on Slack this month:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,593

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

69 but we both just farting.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Trending via Twitch:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Trending via Discord:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Trending via Reddit:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Spotted on Reddit:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Spotted on Discord:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Seen just now on Threads:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

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