Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,563

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Freshly posted on Discord:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Spotted on Messenger:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Going viral on Reddit:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Trending via Slack:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Shared recently on Messenger:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Funny sane quotes

Funny sane quotes bring a perfect blend of wit and wisdom to brighten your day 😄✨ They tickle your brain while keeping things grounded, proving laughter and logic can go hand in hand 🤹‍♂️🧠 Ready to chuckle thoughtfully and keep your sanity intact? Dive into these gems that make sense and make you smile every time! 🎉💡

New funny sane quotes 👇

All funny sane quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

86 shares on Threads this month:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

61 shares on X this month:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

89 shares on Threads this month:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,381

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Shared recently on Threads:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Making waves on Telegram:

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Spotted on Discord:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Making waves on Reddit:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Spotted on Messenger:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

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