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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Trending via TikTok:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

Making waves on Reddit:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Spotted on Telegram:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Trending via Discord:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Going viral on Instagram:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Making waves on Facebook:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

What are cats even trying to do?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Trending via Snapchat:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Funny sick day quotes

New funny sick day quotes 👇

All funny sick day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

17 shares on Threads this month:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

61 shares on WeChat this month:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

35 shares on Instagram this month:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,723

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Seen just now on Discord:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Going viral on Threads:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Going viral on Messenger:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Breaking via Discord:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Spotted on Twitch:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

Just shared via X:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Making waves on Slack:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

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