Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Just landed via Discord:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Shared recently on X:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Life is weird and then you die.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Going viral on WeChat:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Funny similarity quotes

New funny similarity quotes 👇

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, dating, event, exactly, horrific, horror, meeting, personality, similarity, someone, type

Someone from 🇻🇪 has recently copied this quote.

103 shares on Twitch this month.
Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

0

2 months ago

acoustic, acoustic guitar, comparison, donut, donuts, end, food, guitar, hole, humor, just, much, music, pretty, similarity, where

Someone from 🇱🇦 has recently bookmarked this quote.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month.
No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

0

5 months ago

always, episode, humor, matter, similarity, strange, The Twilight Zone, things, twilight, weird, weirdness, zone

Someone from 🇵🇬 has recently copied this quote.

79 shares on X this month.

All funny similarity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

57 shares on Discord this month:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

The future is buffering.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Dying and being reincarnated as a beetle, and crawling to my old body’s grave, and digging down and living in my old ribcage.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Just landed via Messenger:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Freshly posted on X:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Just landed via TikTok:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Trending via Reddit:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Just shared via YouTube:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny similarity quotes

New funny similarity quotes 👇

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

All funny similarity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨