Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,676

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Spreading quickly via X:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Shared recently on Twitch:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Live now on YouTube:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Seen just now on YouTube:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Making waves on X:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

54 Funny sitting quotes

More funny sitting quotes 👇

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

0

4 months ago

am, bad, bad mood, beautiful, beautiful day, behavior, better, compulsive, compulsive behavior, day, depressed, depression, dwell, dwelling, humor, i, inside, irony, mood, sarcasm, sit, sitting, sitting inside
The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

0

5 months ago

50s, after, aging, danger, dangerous, humor, most, movement, sitting, step, steps
A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

0

5 months ago

dreamy, fantasy, girl, me, self-confidence, should, sitting, sky, star, whimsical
Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

0

5 months ago

activity, bird, birds, depression, feeding, good, health, hobby, mental, mental health, nature, outdoor, outdoor activity, porch, pretty, relaxation, sitting, squirrel, squirrels, treatment

For even more funny sitting quotes, hit next 👇

All funny sitting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

77 shares on X this month:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

81 shares on Slack this month:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

74 shares on Threads this month:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Going bananas on Twitch:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Making waves on WeChat:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Going viral on Discord:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Just landed via Messenger:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

Making waves on Discord:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Shared recently on Discord:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

54 Funny sitting quotes

More funny sitting quotes 👇

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

All funny sitting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨