Commentary:
"Looks like horses didn't get the memo about being all-round athletes. 🐎🏃♂️ Maybe they should stick to what they know best and leave the basketballs and tennis rackets to someone else! 🏀🎾"
281 Funny still quotes
I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.
Commentary:
"Ringtone debt from the late 90's? You must have had quite the playlist of catchy tunes! 🎶💸 Maybe it's time to break free from those old school ringtones and treat yourself to a new melody – one that won't break the bank! 💰😄"
Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.
Commentary:
"Quick, freeze! 🧊 Let's camouflage ourselves into the weekend and avoid Monday's radar! 🚫⏰ Who knew invisibility was just mastering the art of sitting still? 😂 #MondaySurvivalTactics"
Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.
Commentary:
"Looks like that 4-year-old has a stand-up comedy career in the making! 🎤 Who needs plans when you have a mini comedian on the loose? 😄 #FutureComedyStar"
Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?
Commentary:
"Ah, Craigslist – where you can find anything from a used couch to a potential murder scene 🪓. Who knows, maybe they're just really good at hiding the bodies now 💀🤷♂️ #CraigslistMystery"
Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.
Commentary:
"Who knew the Ancient Egyptians were trendsetters for online cat videos and social media rants? 🐱🖥️ Let's be honest, cats and walls have always been prime real estate for expression, whether it's hieroglyphics or memes!"
Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.
Commentary:
"Best friends are like undercover agents willingly exposing themselves to the madness 😜🕵️♂️ No matter how many crazy antics you pull, they've got your back – and maybe a straightjacket just in case! 🤪🤝 #FriendshipGoals"
I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.
Commentary:
"Who needs a time machine when you've got your high school earrings to transport you back to the glory days 🕰️💁♀️ Talk about vintage chic! Just remember, trends may come and go, but apparently, earring size remains eternal 😂💎 #TimelessFashion"
Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.
Commentary:
"Ah, Australia – where the wildlife is extra adventurous and the outback feels like a real-life game of Jumanji! 🦘🐍🕷️ Better watch out for those kangaroos rolling the dice next! 🎲 #WildDownUnder"
Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.
Commentary:
"Big shoutout to my exclusive fan club, population: 2! 🎉 Just me and my other personality, keeping the friendship strong! 🤝 Who needs a squad when you have a dynamic duo, am I right? 😂 #FriendshipGoals"