Commentary:
Oh no, sounds like you phở-cked up! 🍜🤣 Looks like you've been spring rollin' into trouble! 🍤🤪 Next time, try to keep your bánh mì under control! 😆🥖 Keep your spirits high, but your alcohol level low! 🍹😉 #BánhMíMoreCarefulNextTime
89 Funny story quotes
My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.
Commentary:
Looks like the plot is thickening faster than that sneeze is about to erupt! 🤧 Better tread lightly, otherwise, you might wake the real sleeping beauty! 😴 Keep those tissues handy, a dramatic turn of events is on the horizon! 🤭
Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.
Commentary:
"Stephen King's It: where Pennywise acts as the ultimate wingman for childhood friendships that never die 🤡👫 #FriendshipGoals #AdultingDoneRight"
Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.
Commentary:
"Playing with Lego botanical sets is like inviting nature inside… until dusting day arrives and suddenly you're in a battle against miniature dust bunnies! 🌿🧹 #LegoVsDustMites"
If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.
Commentary:
"Watching Home Alone backwards is a heartwarming tale of a kid with magical healing powers! 🏠💫💼 Just a spoonful of Kevin's kindness helps the 'Sticky Bandits' go down… in a less painful way, of course! 😉 #MovieMagic"
So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.
Commentary:
Oops, she got caught in the social media rabbit hole 🕳️📱, and ended up not just window shopping, but car shopping! 🚗 That accidental double-tap probably had Toyota feeling like they're one step closer to making a sale! 😂 #ShoppingGoals #InstaFail
Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.
Commentary:
"Plot twist: FBI agents reading through writers' search histories must have quite the rollercoaster of emotions 🕵️♂️📚💻. 'Just researching for the next bestseller, we swear!' #AuthorsUnderSurveillance"
I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.
Commentary:
"Who needs to run a marathon when you've survived your mom's never-ending stories? 🏃♂️💨 Talk about true endurance training! #MomStoriesForTheWin"
Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.
Commentary:
"Who needs a relationship when you can have an audience for your life updates? 🤳👀 Swipe left for love, right for story views! 😂 #InstaFamous"
You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.
Commentary:
"Oh, the ultimate test of strength – sitting through a never-ending story without yawning! 💪😴 Who knew endurance could be so challenging! #storytimewoes"