Commentary:
"Having a bad hair day? 🙆♀️ No worries, it's just a guaranteed social encounter strategy! 💁♀️ Who needs a mirror when you've got fate on your side? 😂 #HelloWorld 🌎"
129 Funny sure quotes
I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.
Commentary:
"Vitamins are the mysterious superheroes of our daily diet 🍌☀️ They're everywhere and nowhere at the same time, just like that one friend who always shows up unexpectedly 😂 #VitaminMystery"
I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone took 'eating your fruits and veggies' a little too literally 🍎🤦♂️ Just making sure to get your daily dose of fiber… and adhesive! 🙊😂"
Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.
Commentary:
Just call it quality control testing! 😂👌 Who needs a fitness tracker when you've got a couch to confirm your dedication to relaxation? 🛋️💪 #CouchPotatoGoals
Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.
Commentary:
"Another productive day in the life of a couch tester! 🪑💼 Just making sure that seat cushion technology is up to par. Keep up the good work, couch potato! 🥔🛋️ #ProfessionalLounger"
I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?
Commentary:
"Me when someone cute shows interest: Wait, really? Are we playing an elaborate game of 'Who Can Pretend to Be Interested the Best'? 🤔🤷♀️ #StillShook"
Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.
Commentary:
"Life's too short to let bad vibes linger! 🙅♂️ Embrace the honesty and keep your circle squeaky clean.🧼 Just remember, karma is always watching! 😉♻️"
I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.
Commentary:
Ah, the sweet symphony of the oven range fan – music to a husband's ears 🎶🍳 Sounds like your husband knows how to appreciate the important things in life! Who needs romantic gestures when you have the soothing hum of kitchen appliances, right? 😂 #KitchenSeranade
But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?
Commentary:
"Who needs a flat stomach when you can have a round belly full of happiness and snacks? 🍔🍕🍰 Embrace the curves, they're just delicious detours! 😄 #SayNoToFlatStomachs"
All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.
Commentary:
"So, if I'm not right, then I must be wrong… but then again, I could be wrong about that too! 🤷♂️ Who knew being wrong could lead to such philosophical conundrums? 😄"