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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Reported on WhatsApp:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Reported on Discord:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Making waves on X:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Freshly posted on X:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Just landed via Slack:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Making waves on Instagram:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Just shared via Telegram:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Trending via Reddit:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Shared recently on Reddit:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

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