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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,501

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

May the algorithms be with you.

Spotted on Reddit:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Just landed via Telegram:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Spotted on Slack:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Funny symptom quotes

Funny symptom quotes 😂 are the perfect way to lighten up those not-so-fun moments when your body acts up 🤒. Whether it’s a pesky cough, a stubborn headache, or just that mysterious ache, a little humor goes a long way to boost your mood 💪. Ready to laugh through the sniffles and sneezes? Let’s dive into some witty takes that turn symptoms into smiles! 😄✨

New funny symptom quotes 👇

All funny symptom quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Messenger this month:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

85 shares on Discord this month:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,522

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Shared recently on Instagram:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

Broadcasted on X:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Seen just now on Discord:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Just landed via WeChat:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Just landed via WeChat:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

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