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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,723

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Just landed via Threads:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Breaking via Reddit:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

323 Funny thing quotes

More funny thing quotes 👇

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

0

5 months ago

beauty, beauty routine, bikini, bikini wax, coffee, cup, humor, morning, need, routine, schedule, thing, wax
I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

0

5 months ago

better, cheese, colleague, cultural, cultural difference, difference, equivalent, explaining, explanation, free, free cheese, free lunch, humor, i, idiom, lunch, me, mousetrap, much, only, phrase, thing, told, Ukrainian
Work beers should be a daily thing.

0

5 months ago

beer, beers, culture, daily, daily routine, humor, office, office culture, relaxation, routine, should, socializing, thing, work

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

89 shares on X this month:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Trending via Slack:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Going viral on TikTok:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Making waves on X:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Just shared via Slack:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

323 Funny thing quotes

More funny thing quotes 👇

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Work beers should be a daily thing.

All funny thing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨