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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Shared recently on Slack:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Just landed via Messenger:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Trending via Slack:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Going viral on YouTube:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Just shared via TikTok:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Freshly posted on Slack:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Spotted on Threads:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Seen just now on X:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Reported on Messenger:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Just shared via Twitch:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Spotted on Threads:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Spotted on Telegram:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Broadcasted on X:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

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