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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,631

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Making waves on X:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Shared recently on Threads:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Live now on Instagram:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Going viral on YouTube:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Funny unsubscribe quotes

Funny unsubscribe quotes 😂📩 are the perfect way to say goodbye to unwanted emails with a smile! Whether you’re fed up with spam or just need a digital detox, these witty lines add a splash of humor to your inbox cleanup. Ready to unsubscribe but keep it light and laugh-worthy? Get inspired to hit that button with a grin and make email overload a thing of the past! ✌️💌✨

New funny unsubscribe quotes 👇

All funny unsubscribe quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Telegram this month:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

64 shares on Threads this month:

Muting morons is good for your health.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,516

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Seen just now on X:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Trending via X:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Shared recently on Slack:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Seen just now on Threads:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Making waves on Twitch:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Shared recently on YouTube:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

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