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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

27 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Just landed via X:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Just shared via Messenger:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Just shared via Threads:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

Just shared via Pinterest:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Making waves on Threads:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Spotted on X:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Home » Funny Vanish Quotes

Funny vanish quotes

New funny vanish quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Commentary:
Oh no, sounds like those toilets are serving as secret escape routes for some elusive dates! 👀 Maybe they've been lured away by the call of the wild…or maybe they just got lost in the maze of toilet stalls? 🚽💨 Dates disappearing into thin air at the restaurant? Time to investigate or start serving a GPS service with the meals! 🕵️‍♂️🍽️

For even more funny vanish quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny vanish quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

27 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Seen just now on Slack:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Going viral on Instagram:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Just landed via YouTube:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Broadcasted on X:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Just shared via Messenger:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

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