Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,343

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Trending via TikTok:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Just shared via X:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

Going viral on Slack:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Just shared via Threads:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Trending via LinkedIn:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The shitshow must go on.

Funny vanish quotes

Funny vanish quotes ✨ bring a clever twist to those moments when things disappear mysteriously 🕵️‍♂️💨 Whether it’s a missing sock, a vanishing snack, or the art of gracefully exiting awkward situations 🕳️🚀, these quotes add a sprinkle of humor and magic to everyday vanishings. Ready to laugh and disappear into a world of witty words? Let’s dive in! 😂🪄

New funny vanish quotes 👇

All funny vanish quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Threads this month:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

24 shares on Threads this month:

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

28 shares on Slack this month:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

38 shares on Slack this month:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

29 shares on Threads this month:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

30 shares on Threads this month:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,666

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Going viral on Telegram:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Trending via YouTube:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Breaking via YouTube:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Going viral on Slack:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Breaking via TikTok:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Spotted on Discord:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Seen just now on Slack:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Trending via TikTok:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

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